Saturday, June 4, 2011

I will never be the same-- aka "Mama Trauma"

I am about to recount the most horrific potty training story you will ever hear. I've been permanently traumatized--seriously. Every time I look at my hands I shudder at the thought of what just occured. Don't say I didn't warn you. Read on with caution!

So yesterday didn't end up being accident free, but she still  did awesome! She had 2 small accidents after dinner, but in her defense I let her drink 2 sippy cups full of milk, so both times she just didn't make it to the potty in quite enough time. She did very well though, I was proud!

Today has also been great. We had to put her  diaper on and go into town for a couple hours though b/c we had a house showing (Don't even get me started on that story. We got a call at like 9pm last night, house a mess, Lee and I about asleep, and are told someone really wanted to see this house this morning. I said yes, but then basically freaked out after I hung up the phone and Lee and I were up until  after 1am fluffing carpets, dusting, mopping, etc. Ugh. It's not like we let the house  get way dirty, but it has to look perfect for showings!) Ok , back to potty training. She has done great all day....except/until about an hour ago when IT happened.

Let me set the scene a little. All day long I've been chuckling about her perpetual underwear wedgie. When we played outside  today I kept seeing the one cellulite  butt cheek and thought it was so "cute"


So then we were in the  playroom playing,  not near a potty, and I  was changing Brielle who had just  puked  all over  herself. All of a sudden I heard it--that poop grunt. I panic, look up, and see Raya in a corner of the playroom--the perpetual wedgie in it's rightful place--and the largest most disgusting turd dangling mere inches from my carpet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Without the underwear in place to contain the mess she was basically crapping on my floor! (or about too!). Seriously people, my life flashed before my eyes...I didn't know what  to do! I thought about the house on the market and how I need to guard the carpet with my life, and at that moment I  did what any mother would do...I cupped my hands under her butt and caught her poop! Oh my god, I can't believe I just typed that. I then RUN to the bathroom screaming (yes, screaming) and try to dump it in the toilet, but it stuck  to my hands! (I warned you....you are reading along at your own risk LOL). So (no lie) I start swishing my hands around in the toilet in complete shock haha. Then I washed my hands for about 10 minutes. Still  traumatized I then had to clean up Missy Moe, who is crying and covered in poop herself. And where is her loving Daddy during all this? Or course he had just gone across the road to fish!

People, I can't live through something like that again. I'm going to be  the wedgie police from now on b/c they are no longer cute!!!

While I  try to recover you can all  enjoy a few pictures. When we had to leave for the house showing today I found 2 for $5 sunglasses at Children's Place and got Miss Raya  a couple new pairs :-)




No sunglasses for Brielle


My now signature "close up" shots :-)



And lastly, let these pictures serve as a reminder--potty training is a messy messy job! :-P


2 comments:

  1. That is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time, what makes it even funnier, is that you will not even do dishes because you don't like to touch dried on food, guess that does not sound so bad now!!!!!
    Love,
    Grama F

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  2. OMG! I love your blog so much that I'm reading previous posts before I found it, lol. This is hilarious! Oh, the things I have to look forward to. Note to self - while potty training in a year or so, fix wedgies! Thanks for the laugh :)

    Amy

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