Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Parenting Styles

I've been thinking lately about parenting styles. We all  have that type of parent we never want to become, the type of parent we wish we could be, the type of parent everyone (people, books, tv, etc.) tell us we should try to be, the type of parent we think we'll be (before we are), and the type of parent we actually  are. Follow me so far? :-P

I've been thinking about this lately because I've surprised myself in being a type of parent that I never would have predicted I'd be. The laid-back, not by the books, type of parent. Growing  up I was a goody goody, by the rules sort of kid. All through school I was a follow the rules and by the book type of student. I did a lot of babysitting growing up and sometimes would find myself thinking "I'd NEVER do that if it were my own  kids." When in school to become a school psychologist I took a lot of education classes and learned how to deal with "those" parents. I thought I had  it all figured out haha.

Then I actually became a parent and suddenly I  had no idea what  the hell I should be doing LOL. Miss Raya  Marie threw me for the curve ball of all curve balls--as I'm sure  many of you moms can  relate to. TV makes it seem so easy. The books make it seem like you can follow a series of steps and suddenly "poof!" you have a well behaved, well adjusted, smart and social child--You've done your job. That doesn't  happen. No book has  taught me how to raise these two!

...and so instead I've been making things up as I go, and to my surprise I'm a really laidback  parent (perhaps too laidback  for  Lee's liking haha). We don't do schedules (pretty much the only predictable thing about our day is that I try to have Raya nap at 12:30, but even that is often changed if I feel like taking them somewhere during nap time!)...I don't really worry about what they eat (I actually  had to stop and think  when I wrote yesterday's post, to see how much formula Brielle eats b/c I never keep track--I just have  a rough estimate...she eats when she's hungry, naps when she's tired!)-- and Raya, well if she wants to eat peanut butter every day so be it. Eventually she'll have peer pressure to branch out, and if not well peanut butter has protein (and gasp, it's not organic either! :-)....I don't  worry about milestones (I  belong to a little community of moms with kids born the same months as mine and I always laugh about all the milestone questions--freak outs about their 6 month old not crawling and "talking" and should they be in therapy for being behind)--my philosophy is they  will be walking, talking, and giving us all headaches by the time they're 5, so who starts what first is the least of my concerns!...and God knows I'm not a mom who worries about keeping a pristine house haha. My house is always clean and presentable for company, but we live here. We have fun here. And when the girls finally take a nap I'm going to blog, not clean :-P So my house might look a little messy, but  so be it. Life is too short!

I certainly don't pretend to know all  the answers, and I guess we'll see in 10 years if I'm kicking  myself and thinking "Shawna, you should have charted those feedings and made Raya eat her peas and you definitely shouldn't have taken pictures and blogged every day when your husband didn't have his favorite black dress pants washed (sorry Lee, wear kahki ones instead :-P)"  ...but right now I'm happy with my fly by the seat of your pants parenting. I've tried changing it, tried reading books and making schedules, and it just doesn't work for me. Isn't my style apparently, and now I know!

Other things I know? Well for  one, Brielle might  be  sleeping in my bed until she's 3 at this rate because I'm too laid back  to stop bringing her to my bed....and Raya, bless her heart, can't for the life of her identify a single letter of the alphabet despite concentrated practice and regardless of the fact that she can pick out a towel and tell  me how daddy wiped up her  poop with that specific one 3 weeks ago lol (the mind of a toddler is  amazing isn't it?) But the important thing is that my girls are happy and I'm happy--sure they drive me crazy sometimes but in general I kind of feel like I have this parenting thing down--the "experts" can kiss my a**  :-)

Right girls?

So to all my mommy readers, keep on doin' what your doin' and if  it works for you then other's be damned :-)

Let's all enjoy some more pictures now, shall we?

I always talk about Brielle's blue eyes anymore, but when I'm able to get a clear
picture of Raya's eyes it reminds me how BEAUTIFUL big brown eyes can be too :-)

Sucky lip face! ;-)


  1. great post! I agree I'm a laid back mom who should probably disapline a little more when my 2 year old talks back but I would rather have everyone happy instead. The only schedule we have is bed time, sometimes! It's hard to have schdules life changes every minute!
    Love that big picture of Raya smiling, so adorable. and as always miss brielle is to cute!

  2. I say do what makes you happy!!! My favorite saying, if mama ain't happy nobody is happy!!!

    Love,Grama F

  3. I agree with this post 100%. Its great! I also love the sepia picture of Raya! The girls are to cute! I think Brielle is going to get you with thoes eyes later on in life, flutter them once and have her way!



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