Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Help me brainstorm some solutions! :-)

Ok, I'm calling on all my readers to help me brainstorm some ideas for recent "issues" my girls are having lol.

1) Raya has started lying quite a bit. Now I know that *every* kid does this, but she's pretty smart about it! What she does is she blames Brielle for things---but she doesn't wait until I catch them before pointing the finger (which I would expect) but instead she is proactive and will hunt me down to tattle on Brielle. For example today, Raya comes and tells me "sissy did something bad. She colored on the slide downstairs" ....well, Brielle has a history of coloring on things so I totally believed Raya, reprimanded Brielle, etc....and I mean, if Raya was at fault why would she bring it to my attention that anything had been written on? That's what I was thinking anyways! (See, she's real good). So fast forward to awhile later and Lee tells me someone had colored on the slide, to which I responded "yeah, Raya told me Brielle did and she got in trouble"....and then I hear Lee (in the basement with the slide) say "um, I am pretty sure it was Raya because there are actual alphabet letters written all over it"   lol. Raya finally confessed it was her who had written all over the slide.

Ugh! She is doing this all the time lately! So today my "good mom" solution was a sit down conversation talking about the importance of being truthful etc. After my speech Raya says "so how many minutes would I have to sit in timeout if you caught me lying?" and I said "a looong time....lying is not good" ....and then she said "how many minutes would I have to sit in timeout if I told the truth?" and I randomly said "well, not as long as if you lie and I catch you!" .....and Raya said "well, let's make a deal---if I lie then I stay in timeout a long time, but if I tell the truth I just stay in timeout one little minute....that sounds fair!"   Kid, your mind games are killing me here lol

2) Raya is driving me nuts with sudden "sensory issues" ....now I know this is super common (I remember going through a stage of not wearing jeans, and then another stage where I always pulled my underwear up really high and folded them over the top of my pants hahaha)  ....and I had a cousin I remember who went through a stage where she couldn't wear socks unless you spent forever getting the toe seam just right :-P.....BUT Raya's issue is so annoying! It's mostly that she constantly feels like she has a wedgie (but she doesn't)....so she cries and carries on when she has to wear any type of pants---now even leggings bother her! I usually ignore her and then after 15 minutes of crying she totally forgets about it and never complains the rest of the day....but the battle to get through the initial sensory disturbance is tiresome. Any ideas? She also complains about any elastic in her tops (like empire waists, elastic arms or drop waists, etc) and she doesn't like the feel of 3/4 sleeves or capris...and shoes are a nightmare b/c she thinks everything is too small and too tight (it's not). She cries about pigtails or any ponytail too.

And like I said, after 15 minutes she's over it and wears everything just fine!!! No matter how many times I remind her that she always gets used to it, we still have the same initial battle every morning. Ideas?

3) Brielle is in a "mama help/mama do it" stage. I feel like she just got over the "I do it!" stage, where she never wanted help doing anything...and now she is annoying and wants me to help her with EVERYTHING. She can no longer wash her hands, find her stuffed animals, put on shoes, etc. without me helping her. She tells me she's a baby and not a big girl. Any ideas on this one? Just drives me crazy that she used to go wash her hands independently just fine and now I need to walk her to the bathroom and help her, or she screams and carries on for 20 minutes about it...

Any help on these things is appreciated! Where is that parenting manual when you need it---these kids should come with instructions (and warning labels!) :-)

10 comments:

  1. Regarding lying, I'm right there with you. Ashby has been terrible about it lately. Like she has no issues lying, and does it so convincingly! Ha! When it happens, I talk to her about how we don't lie, how Jesus does not like us to lie (they are both big into talking about God/Jesus lately), and then she gets a punishment. Usually no TV/iPad the next day. Seems severe, but that is the only thing that hits home & she hates having it taken away. The past couple of weeks have been better, so maybe the no TV/iPad for like 3 straight days (after getting caught 3 times in a row) worked?! Lol.

    Just know I'm right with ya! This parenting thing is HARD!!!

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  2. I wish I could help but Wil has been fibbing a lot lately. I call it fibbing because normally it is just little things like he will answer no when the answer is yes etc. and im trying to figure it out myself. The other things I haven't run into just yet. Good luck!

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  3. I'm not sure of the solutions, but at least they are adorable!

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  4. I'm sorry I'm not any help right now. :/ But, I'll be coming back to this post with answers from other mommas, as I'm more than certain I'll be dealing with many of the same.

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  5. I'm not sure if this will help the lying, but you could curb the tattling using a toy that Raya could tattle too, instead of coming to you. In some of my classrooms we've had "tattle turtles" that the kids could share their problems with, unless someone was really hurt. So maybe if she's not telling you, that will help with the lying?
    Just a thought :)

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  6. Oh lord, totally no ideas on the lying. We're not there yet! I really am a big book person. I'm sure there's a girly book about lying vs. telling the truth that might be helpful! No clue on #2. :)

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  7. I put my kids in time out for as many minutes they are old, so Autumn is 4, so she goes in time out for 4 minutes. She has sort of been telling tall tales and lies lately, too! She told our teacher I was having a baby (ugh!) and that we owned snakes at home. Umm, no. Then, she will make up other stories and if I tell her I don't believe her she will cry... even when I know it isn't true. If I know she is telling a lie I just put her in time out, but sometimes it is tricky to know if she is or isn.t, which I hate. So I feel your pain.

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  8. My best suggestions are as folliows:
    1) ask Raya if she would like it if you lied to her. For example- be sitting in the living room and tell her there's a big bowl of ice cream on the kitchen table for her.....psych!!!

    2) during the 15 min time she has her breakdown....distract her with a favorite toy or activity or show or accessories to go with her outfit. Something to take her mind off whatever is bothering her supposedly.

    3) make Brielle's activities a game. Don't do them for her, do them with her. Make her do them herself but you do it at the same time and make it a game. For example washing hands: come on Brielle lets see who can wash our hands the fastest

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  9. Just curious if you have tried any of the suggestions? Success? Failure? What did you try? What did you think of people's suggestions?

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    1. I will have to do a post to update everyone soon! We've actually been so busy lately that we haven't had much of a chance to try anything yet---thankfully being busy hasn't left much time for lying and whining lol ;-) I've been doing distraction for the clothing issue though and that seems to help a little---although Raya is pretty stubborn and can keep the tantrum going despite some pretty good distractions!!!!

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