Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Funnies from Facebook

When there is a funny tidbit I have to share I usually post it on facebook real quick while I'm thinking of it. So today I thought I better put some of those things over here on the blog too so that I remember them! :-)

Here are my recent status updates:

The girls are getting smarter and I don't like it one bit! Today we are going with Grandma and since they keep bugging me about when she'll get here I fed them my normal load of BS and said "she will get here when it's morning---see, look outside, the sun isn't even up yet!" (It's 9am and cloudy lol). This has worked like a charm in the past but today Raya looks at me like I'm a complete idiot and says "Mama, it is already morning. The sun is just hiding behind the clouds because it's a little rainy today. It can still be daytime when you don't see the sun, there is still light outside" CRAP...I've been schooled I guess


We lied and told the girls that Lee couldn't get Frozen after work tonight, that they were sold out. They are currently pouting and teary eyed. They will be so excited when he walks in with it now haha...I love messing with them

and later...

If you heard screams of joy and "Thank you Daddy!!!!" earlier, that was the girls upon learning that he really did bring home Frozen haha. Popcorn and movie party coming up


How dare he?! Tonight Lee committed the ultimate sin in Raya's book---while tucking her into bed he laid on her owl lovies and transferred body warmth to them--oh the horror (she let out blood curdling screams of terror when she saw it) ! I wonder what neighbors were thinking if they drove by and saw him waving owl lovies back and forth outside to cool them off haha


I had a little girl over this weekend for a cake smash--wanna see? :-)

I also took this picture at another session this weekend <3


Brielle tends to be especially hard-headed in the car, when she knows she has a trapped victim within ear shot. So today she was as usual trying to mess with her carseat and push the chest clip way down to her waist. I told her "if a cop sees you he will pull us over b/c it is their job to keep us safe and that is not being safe" which the little sh*it replied "that's ok, I will run because I am fast. I can run reeeeeally fast. I run away from you and you can't catch me. I can run fast from the cop" ....ok, her college fund is officially being switched to a bail money fund! I swear, that child


Recipe for disaster:
Take one 3-year-old diva
Add one sleepover party
Stir in lots of "we have company" sugary treats
Set the clocks ahead one hour.
Wait until you hear the screaming "don't you talk to me!" tantrum---then you know it's DONE.


I'm so proud of Raya--last year I'd empty her backpack after preschool and find "doodles" that I'd have to pretend looked like something. This year I love opening her bag to find *real* art---yesterday she drew this picture of herself with ...our two cats (and she even gave Kiara a princess crown haha) and she's only 4! I think she's going to be an artist like Lee ! And seriously, doesn't she look at least 8 years old in this pic? She'll be in kindergarten next year and I might just cry LOL
I know many parents argue with their young daughters about if and when they can start wearing makeup, but I say go for it girls---cake it on! That should keep those boys away LOL
Me: Are you girls ready for breakfast?
Raya: Yes, I think today I would like to order a.......
Me: Wait, I'm not taking an "order", you're getting a bowl of cereal.

Seriously LOL.
I love how easy it is to *thrill* my girls. At hy-vee today I got a cart that had the two steering wheels on it. As I'm pushing them through the store Raya is squealing "this is the best girl's day ever!" ---girls day grocery shopping--yes, I'm totally that awesome
Raya just saw a commercial on tv for healthy kids snacks...various fruits and veggies wrapped up in lettuce leaves, etc. So she just told me "hey, that is a delicious idea! You should make us snacks like that!" and surprised I said "oh, you would like that?" ...and she said "Yes! You could wrap things like marshmallows or chocolate chips or goldfish crackers up in lettuce leaves and it would be delicious!" hahaha....I think she may have missed the *healthy* snack point
Raya just pointed to the button on her dress and told Brielle "look, I have a snooze button!" She has no idea how much I wish that was true lol.
Raya: I've got a cold Mama.
Brielle: Me too!
Raya: No you don't sissy! Do you have dried boogers?
Brielle: Yes.
Raya: No you don't! See mine? Feel them.
Brielle: Ok.
Raya: No, not there...move over....over more....up some more
(Brielle's finger in Raya's nose)
Raya: Yep, right there! Feel that crusty stuff? Dried boogers.
Brielle: Ohhhhhhhhh.

(Well if Brielle *didn't* have a cold I think she probably will have Raya's soon after that! lol)
I feel like I should give Brielle some pointers about telling a good lie haha. We just discovered a reading book that had been colored in. When I asked her who did it she very seriously told me "I think it was one of the kitties! I think I saw Kiara doing it---she is naughty" Going out on a limb here, but I'm thinking it probably wasn't the cat
Sorry for all these stories, but my kids crack me up! So today we had to stop for a train on the way to get Sawyer from preschool, and the train cars had a layer of snow on top on them. Suddenly Raya starts talking: "Mama, these are NOT coal cars, they have snow in them! I think they are taking snow to other places in the world where it's cold, but it hasn't snowed yet. So do you know what? This ...isn't a *coal* train, it's a *cold* train!" lol...I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth 

 Then after we get Sawyer we are driving home and I hear this:
Sawyer: "I love scorpions. Scorpions kill people."
Raya: "Well, I don't think that's very nice!"
Sawyer: "Why? They don't live around here at least!"
If there was an award for most creative tantrums then Brielle would win it hands down. Tonight after bath and pjs she suddenly started yanking at her pj top, declaring it to tight, etc. etc. Next thing I know she is stomping to her room yelling "don't talk to me!" (I wasn't lol) and slams the door. After letting her carry on screaming in her room for about 5 minutes I went to check on her and she is completely naked, flinging herself on the floor, against the door, rolling was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen LOL. After about 10 more minutes suddenly she was ready to put on pjs again and now she's happily watching a show before bed. She exhausts me
Normally my girls wake up around 6am sharp and come wake me up. For some reason this morning they slept in, so when they woke up at 7 I was already awake and in the kitchen. They both immediately give me the stink eye and are MAD. Then Raya said, "Mama, you are never ever to get up before us! It just makes us and everything feel so weird!" Good to know haha


  1. These have cracked me up! The booger one being one of my favorites!

  2. Haha! These are good! {I just picked up Frozen this afternoon to surprise the girls with on Friday. :-)}

  3. Those girls are hilarious!!
    If Raya thinks a 'girls day' of grocery shopping is fun I'll be happy to let her take that chore off my hands. :)

  4. These are hilarious! You will love looking back on these :)

    I had a something I wanted to ask you, do you have an email I could email you at?

    1. Yeah! Why don't you just shoot me a message through my facebook page "no paparazzi please photography" :-)


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